The (Eventual) Comeback Kid
by esmeeeeme
Summary: Thing was, Han didn't know how to comfort. It wasn't his strongest suit. He didn't know how to do a lot of things; fix his problems with Leia, try to find a way to mend things. He didn't know how to comfort, which was a pretty shit thing, considering that as of that moment in time, his son was crying and terrified after a nightmare. Modern AU.


**Yeah...i am not that good with summaries. Anywho, here is a fanfic! There won't be any stormpilot in this one, considering that this is waaaaaaaaay before Poe meets Finn. But this is essential still, showing more than one angle to the story. Again, shout out and a HUGE thank you to Big_Boss84 for helping out soooooooo much in making this fanfic possible. From my hour long rants to fluff ideas at 2am, thank you so much. 3 This is my first time writing Han so I tried my absolute best. Also, Finn and Rey are siblings. Yes, Finn is adopted. Kylo is deaged to twelve, while Finn and Rey are in their twenties.**

 **Does this mean Luke got married first? Hell yeah it does. Han is bitter about it. Junior got more game than he does.**

 **Anywho, I obviously don't own Star Wars. Enjoy!**

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Han knew who he married. He just knew.

Leia was a dedicated politician. She hated the corruption of the government, and intended to clean it right out. She faced all kinds of hardships, all that Han had to witness. Sexist assholes, bigots, all trying to bring her down.

Even though she didn't use her father's last name, she still had the stubbornness of a Skywalker in her blood. Fierce, determined, all things that made Leia stand out against the other candidates. Maybe she'll achieve her goal of becoming state senator, but baby steps. Baby steps.

First being called the Princess, and seeing how well she could handle the business of it, then dubbed the General, Leia had quickly risen among the ranks. Made considerable and more prominent changes in the city, with four years of being in city council, she was more than ready to run for mayor.

But with the campaign cutting in close, Leia worked late often. Especially during the weekends.

The afternoon lunch had ended in a rather heated argument. Leia wanted to go above and beyond. Han called her a workaholic. Never being home, her temper getting the best of her at worst times, Leia hating that she was called a workaholic.

Yes, his wife was stubborn. But Han knew the difference between stubborn enough to achieve the goal, and stubborn enough to be working non stop to the point that you never see your family.

Oh wait, there was another word for the latter.

A workaholic.

Needless to say, Leia was pissed off.

Han knew that these confrontations were getting worse. It was only a matter of time until Leia kicked him out the bedroom and made him sleep on the couch. Leia already slept on her side, very far away from Han in their shared bed. She didn't even bother to leave coffee on in the mornings,after she had her morning cup.

Han was fucking up, but then again, so was Leia. They were both fucking up.

Han always made sure to close up the mechanic shop early so he could take pick up Ben, or Kylo, whatever the fuck, from Luke's. Not that there was a lot to really take care of. Kylo was twelve, about to be thirteen. He just needed a watchful eye on him, just in case.

Today was one of the more rare quiet days. Kylo was more to himself, with Luke saying that all he really did was keep R2, Luke's fluffy grey and white cat, on his lap and watched a few movies. Also that he fell asleep at one point.

It was...weird.

Han cooked some dinner for the both of them, consisting of grilled chicken and rice. Dinner was short and quiet affair, what with Kylo only saying one worded answers to questions.

"How was lunch?"

"Good."

"And the movie?"

"Alright."

Cryptic ass bullshit.

After a shower, Han changed into his pajamas and turned on the television. Browsing through channels, he ended up starting an old film on one of the local channels.

Kylo lumbered off to his room, probably watching television too or for all Han knew, reading. Maker, that kid loved to read. Not to the point that he would beg for books for Christmas, but on the rare occasions that Han would buy him one, Kylo would utter a thank you, and just emerge to his bedroom.

It was a silent way of communicating. A strange one too. But it did always make Kylo look more relaxed and less scowly the next day, so that was good.

What the hell was raising a kid anyway?

They had their more than various disagreements, that's true. But it was over little things.

Some arguments ranged from "Jesus, we're only doing what's best for you!" and having Kylo yell back "No you're not!", for him barging into his bedroom and slamming his door shut, to the more petty ones.

"This is for your own good."

"LIAR!"

Didn't help that sometimes, Kylo would start an argument over the smallest things. Jesus, this kid was a handful. First one started with wanting to be called Kylo instead of his name, Ben. Don't get Han wrong, if his kid ever wanted to go by something else, like Diana or Alicia, he would gladly oblige. Anything to make his kid comfortable.

But Kylo Ren?

Out of all the names, out of all the freaking names, Kylo Ren. Sounded like a Hoth Topic employee name.

It had been about two years before, when Kylo was still a fifth grader, when he came home one day and insisted to be called Kylo. Had it been another way, like being asked nicely, Han would've done it. Maybe. But noooo, Kylo had to be so aggressive about it.

Leia went along with it, saying that she knew what it was like to try to fit into a shell like that. Said it was a phase and it would pass.

It didn't.

Eventually, the name thing receded into the background, and before Han knew it, he was calling him Kylo subconsciously. He never said it out loud, though. One thing that he knew made his son tick was being called Ben.

But once the light went out in Kylo's room, Han lowered the volume of the television to the point he could barely hear it. Kylo couldn't sleep with any kind of noise going on. Everything had to be silent. Been like that since he was a baby, hasn't grown out of it ever since.

Han didn't question it. So long as his son was getting some sleep, that was good enough for him. What with the problems this family already faced, he wasn't about to go and make a habit from his son one of them. Just work with it.

He sighed, leaning back into the couch. How the hell did Luke manage to raise not one, but two kids at the same time? Of the same age even? The kids were already in college, Rey following the footsteps of her father to become an educator and Finn going across the country to medical school to become a medical assistant.

Finishing up his glass of water and setting it aside on the table, Han leaned back into the couch. The movie had ended, the television now showing one of those weird paid programming half hour commercials on. The digital clock on the wall read 12:17 AM.

Eventually, Han was going to drift to sleep.

Now, he wasn't really watching it, more of just enjoying the silence around him. Thinking about everything, trying to figure out a resolution for all of this.

"Dad?"

For a minute, Han braced himself for the incoming verbal debate. But then he turned to see Kylo, barefoot and in his bed clothes consisting of long pants and a grey shirt, wrapped in a blanket. He didn't have his usual scowl. His dark hair was messy, like he'd just got out of bed. And judging by the hour, he probably did.

"What's up kiddo?"

Kylo said nothing, just walking to the couch and to his shock, curling himself into Han. Upon a closer look, the blanket he had was one Han recognized; the one he used to sleep with in the Falcon. Holy crap, he thought he lost it. He wasn't going to reproach Kylo about the blanket, though. It wasn't the time.

Han had been in the military long enough to be really good at reading people. And his son is scared.

"What's wrong?"

Whatever argument they had that day was shoved aside. Kylo shook his head and in a few moves, moved his knees to tuck them under his chin.

"Do you feel sick?"

Kylo had one crappy immune system. Sometimes, a virus would catch him and he would have no clue until he was laying down face first in a feverish sweaty blanket mess and not wanting to get up for anything. Han has seen it. Twice.

The words "Dad, I think I'm dying" were always followed with "Yeah, you are. Soup is on the stove." Then Leia would give him the glare and Han had to bring a bowl of soup to Kylo's bedroom and practically feed it to the kid because he was too sick to sit up. It wasn't as bad as it sounded. All he really needed was long, absolute long, quiet hours of sleep. Worked like a charm.

Kylo shook his head and stayed quiet.

"Are you okay?"

Kylo shook his head again, the blanket more tight around himself, like a protective shell.

Barely above a whisper, he said, "Nightmare."

Ah.

No wonder.

When Kylo was younger, he had horrible night terrors. He didn't know how to explain them; poor kid just choked up and started crying at the mention of them. They got help for him, the best they could find, and as the years went by, the night terrors diminished. "They go away on their own," the doctor said. "There isn't a cause for concern."

Easy for you to say, Han had thought. He isn't your child.

But, true to his word, they did go away on their own.

Han won't lie when he said that the memory of seeing his son wail at something he couldn't explain or see still haunted him. He's been a war general and seen countless of terrible things, seen his comrades die, been to funerals of loved ones. Hell, he nearly died himself.

But when you're a parent, seeing your child suffer over something they couldn't explain was ten times worse.

To his knowledge, Kylo hadn't had a nightmare in years. Or maybe he's had them but didn't say anything about it. He was already skitterish and very introverted, so it must have been a really bad one if it meant he had to go to someone afterwards, the someone being Han.

"Was it really bad?"

Kylo nodded and curled the blanket around him tightly.

Shit, okay. He needed to talk to Leia about this.

Thing was, Han didn't know how to comfort. It wasn't his strongest suit.

His way of comfort was dragging Luke out of his bedroom when his wife died and making sure he ate something. It was of him putting his foot in the door and not allowing it to shut whenever Luke tried to lock himself in the study; the only place in the house with a liquor cabinet.

With kids, it was limited. It was hearing Rey talk and talk about her mother as she braided flower crowns. She knew that talking about her to Luke would only hurt him more and that Leia would be sad. So Han, the neutral less affected party, listened. Listened as the two five year olds talked about their mother. It was having Finn and Rey in his woodshop in the back, listening as they made a gift for their mother's grave.

He guess it worked.

He didn't know how to comfort, which was a pretty shit thing itself considering his son was terrified after a nightmare.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Kylo's voice broke, "No."

Oh shit, it really was bad.

Before he knew it, Kylo was crying. His twelve, soon to be thirteen year old son was crying and oh god, Han felt terribly unprepared. He felt like he was twenty six again, alone in the nursery with a crying son while Leia was staying overnight at the hospital for observation. He thought he was ready, god, he honestly thought he had an idea of what he was doing. But nope.

With the realization that mostly consisted of thinking Oh shit, I'm a father. Oh SHIT. He had to call Luke for moral support. Rocking the crying baby, trying to soothe him, just being absolutely scared and feeling useless.

"The first night is always the hardest."

He felt the same panic as he did all those years ago.

Okay, okay, think - what would Leia do? If Han flips, that will only make Kylo worse. He can't call Luke, in law is already asleep. Even if he could, Kylo wasn't in a state to be left alone.

"Uh," Han said, reaching his arm around some more to oat Kylo on his shoulder. "Alrighty, alrighty, it's okay."

Damn it, Han, you can do better than this.

Han took a deep breath.

"I know that you're afraid," Han said gently. Made sure to remain calm and not show just how unprepared he was for this kind of situation. "But it was just a dream. It's okay to feel scared, but know that you're gonna be okay. You're breathing, you're alive, you're safe. Got it sport?"

He didn't expect a verbal answer when Kylo weakly nodded at him.

"You don't have to talk about it, I'm not gonna force you. I understand," Han said. "When you're ready, you go on ahead. But for now, let's watch some crappy infomercials that last half an hour."

Resigned, Kylo just sighed and rested his head on Han's chest. It was like he was a kid again. He stopped crying, so that was something. But the slump of his shoulders still weighed at Han. And worried him.

He really needed to talk to Leia about this.

Han wrapped an arm around Kylo, feeling him get more comfortable and curling the blanket around him tighter. A more tighter half hug of sorts.

It had been so long, so long, that he had hugged his son.

After brief silence and the noise of the television becoming more white noise than entertainment, Han felt Kylo's breath steady under his arm. He finally spoke the first full sentence from the whole day.

"Dad, it feels like someone is watching me." Nothing could hide the amount of fear in his voice, the genuine horror that stirred alarm in Han.

"How so?"

"When...when I had that, I felt like someone was watching me. Like someone was there. In my room and in...in my dream."

Where in the hell did my boy get that idea?

"Do you want me to go check?"

"No!" Kylo burst out, his hand clinging onto Hans sleeve. "No, no, no. Don't go. Please."

Yeah, Han definitely needed to talk to Leia about this.

"Alright, I'm not going anywhere," he reassured. "Is this the first time?" Han asked. "That you've had a nightmare this bad?"

At that, Kylo choked back a small sob. "It's the fifth."

Shit.

Han swallowed.

Han suddenly felt aloof. Was he that oblivious to Kylo's behavior? His kid was honest. Blunt, sarcastic, a bit whiny, but honest. He didn't lie about things. God, no wonder he was quiet lately, more quiet than usual.

"How come you never told us about it?"

"Because you don't care," Kylo said. "I know how much you and mom argue about me, I know how much of a burden I am, I know. Why bother?"

"Did you seriously think that?"

What Han saw next pretty much broke his heart.

His kid winced and said, "Please don't yell at me" in the smallest and most vulnerable voice.

Oh god.

Oh god.

It was the yelling. It was the constant arguing. It was all of that.

"Oh man." Han leaned his head back and sighed. "I really fucked up this time. I'm sorry. It isn't on you, kid. None of this is on you. What your mom and I argue about is between her and I."

"You're not...You're not gonna divorce, right?"

"I don't know what to tell you." Han sighed. "I don't want to lie and say that your mother and I are one hundred percent on good terms right now. We have our issues. But none of them are about you. Your mother is….very stressed out with the election coming up," Han explained. "And you know your mother's temper."

"But divorce?"

"I hope not."

Kylo frowned, worry etched in his features.

"It's complicated. Don't get me wrong, I love your mother," Han said. "But….shit happens. Life gets difficult. Disagreements are bound to happen, but we gotta work it out, one way or another."

"Don't tell mom."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't tell mom about this," Kylo begged. "Please. I don't want to stress her out even more than she is stressed, I don't want her to freak out."

"Son."

"Dad, please, please, I'm begging you," Kylo was on the verge of tears, fuck. "Don't tell mom. I don't want to screw up her campaign or anything. I don't want her to know."

Patting Kylo's back, "Alright, I won't," Han said. "On the condition you let me know if anything happens."

"Like?"

"I'm your dad, not a stranger. Don't shut me out," Han said. "Especially now. Just come to me whenever you need to."

Kylo looked hesitant.

"I was a teenager once too, you know. Yeah, shit is a whole lot different, what with you kids and your texting and wireless internet," at that Kylo smiled a little bit. "But I know the struggle of growing up," Han continued. "I'm an old man. I know the gist of it."

Kylo sniffled, Han used his thumb to wipe a tear from his cheek. "I know I'm not the best parent, but damn it, I'm going to try everything I can to help you out. Try."

"Do or do not. There is no try," Kylo said.

Han groaned, "Luke is teaching you that cryptic ass bullshit again."

"Philosophy isn't cryptic," Kylo said. "It's pretty cool once you get the hang of it."

"Right, cool with your hypnosis and mind tricks and all," Han said before ruffling Kylos hair. "Don't worry, I give your uncle grief about it all the time. Been since he told me that was his major."

Kylo sighed in relief. "Thank you," he said. Some tension fell from his body as he focused back on the television.

Han hummed in agreement and continued watching the shitty infomercials.

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 **Woooooo eeeeeeeee aint that something. Its something. I'm very excited of where this fanfic is going to go. Comments are welcome!**


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